A destination wedding is not just about choosing a pretty beach. It is about deciding what kind of wedding experience actually feels right for you and your future spouse.
Destination weddings have become incredibly popular, and honestly, it is not hard to understand why. Couples are looking at the cost of traditional weddings in the United States and realizing they may be spending anywhere from $60,000 to $80,000 for one day.
Meanwhile, they could get married at a beautiful all inclusive resort for a fraction of that price, turn the celebration into a full vacation and create memories that go far beyond a few hours at a reception hall.
For some couples, it is also simply more their vibe. Maybe you have never imagined yourself walking down the aisle inside a church, chapel or traditional ballroom. Maybe you and your future spouse want something tropical, relaxed and, needless to say, a lot more fun.
But before you start picturing yourself barefoot on the beach with a fruity drink waiting at the reception, there are a few realities you need to consider. A destination wedding requires trust, flexibility and the ability to accept that not every part of the process will happen on your exact timeline.
It Is About More Than the View
Cost is usually one of the biggest reasons couples begin considering a destination wedding. A traditional wedding at home can quickly become unbelievably expensive, especially once you add the venue, food, bar, flowers, entertainment, rentals, decor and all of the smaller expenses that somehow never feel small once the invoices start arriving.
At an all inclusive resort, many of those details may already be included inside a wedding package. Your ceremony location, basic decor, reception space, food, drinks and wedding coordinator may already be bundled together.
That does not mean every destination wedding is automatically cheap. You can absolutely create a luxury celebration with upgraded flowers, private events, entertainment and custom decor. Wedding packages can range from around $2,000 to more than $50,000 depending on the resort and what you want.
The difference is that couples often have more control over where their money is going. Instead of spending the entire budget on one evening, they are creating a trip, a celebration and an experience with the people who matter most.
The Vision Feels Like You
The biggest sign that a destination wedding may be right for you is that it matches your vision. Do not choose a destination wedding because it is trending or because the photos look pretty on Pinterest. Choose it because you can genuinely see yourself getting married that way.
You also need to be comfortable handing over a good portion of the planning responsibilities to the resort wedding coordinator. Destination wedding planning is different from planning a wedding at home. You may not personally choose or oversee every small detail months in advance.
As much as some couples may hate hearing this, it helps to have a little Type C energy. Many resorts are not actively thinking about the final details of your wedding until the month before, or even the month of, the wedding.
That does not mean your wedding is being ignored. Resort wedding teams may have multiple weddings happening each week, and they usually have a process for when each detail is finalized. You have to trust that process without convincing yourself that everything is falling apart.
It is also helpful when the people who matter most to you are able and willing to travel. The wedding gives everyone a reason to use some of that PTO and finally take a vacation together.
“A destination wedding is not just about the location. It is about giving up some control in exchange for an unforgettable experience.”Melissa’s Reality Check
Be Honest About How Much Control You Need
A destination wedding may not be right for you if you need to be in control of every planning decision. You need to be able to trust the resort wedding coordinators and understand that their communication style may be very different from what you are used to at home.
You may not receive an immediate answer every time you send an email. You may not choose every centerpiece six months in advance. You may have to wait until much closer to the wedding before certain details are confirmed.
It may also not be the right fit if you know you will become defensive, angry or deeply hurt when someone says they cannot attend.
When you choose a destination wedding, you need to expect that your original guest list could be cut in half. Some guests may not be able to afford the trip. Some may not have enough time off. Others may have health, childcare or passport concerns.
That does not mean they do not love you. It also does not mean you should abandon the wedding you want. It simply means you need to decide which reality you can live with before signing a contract.
You cannot choose a destination wedding and then expect every person on your original guest list to attend.
You can give guests plenty of notice, provide a payment schedule and make the planning process as easy as possible. But at the end of the day, the decision to travel belongs to them.
No, You Are Not Responsible for Everyone’s Travel
One of the biggest misconceptions couples have is that they are responsible for paying for everyone’s trip.
Nope.
Your guests are generally responsible for paying for their own flights, resort room, travel protection and any other personal travel expenses. You are inviting them to attend your wedding. You are not required to fund their entire vacation.
You can choose to pay for certain guests, cover part of the room, host additional events or provide transportation as a gift. That is completely up to you, but it is not automatically your responsibility.
The Questions I Ask Every Couple
Choosing a destination wedding is only the beginning. The next step is figuring out what kind of destination wedding you actually want.
There are basic questions I ask every couple during the planning process. Do you need a family friendly resort or an adults only resort? Are accessible rooms and walkable resort layouts important? What kinds of restaurants, entertainment and activities do you want available for your guests?
But the biggest question will always be this: What kind of wedding are you envisioning?
Who Is Coming?
Do you need a family friendly resort, an adults only experience or a property that can comfortably accommodate guests with accessibility needs?
What Is Your Resort Style?
Are you looking for a quiet luxury experience, nightlife, a swimmable beach, gourmet dining or plenty of activities for a multigenerational guest list?
What Is Your Wedding Vision?
Do you picture a rooftop, terrace, garden, ballroom or beach ceremony? The location you love may determine which resorts should be considered.
What Is Your Wedding Budget?
Wedding packages can range from a few thousand dollars to more than $50,000. Your budget needs to match the experience and level of customization you are expecting.
You Do Not Have to Become Everyone’s Travel Department
One of the biggest benefits of booking your wedding and room block through a travel advisor is that you do not have to answer the same guest questions over and over again.
In most cases, your wedding website will include your travel advisor’s contact information and booking instructions. From there, the advisor can help guests with their rooms, transportation, travel protection, payment deadlines and general travel questions.
Your travel advisor helps manage the travel logistics while the resort wedding coordinator manages the actual wedding. These are two very different roles, and having the right person handling each side can take a tremendous amount of pressure off the couple.
Many couples also do not realize that a contracted room block can come with additional benefits. Depending on the resort and the number of rooms booked, you may qualify for complimentary rooms, room upgrades, private cocktail hours, additional wedding events or other group amenities.
Your travel advisor should be reviewing the contract, tracking the room production and making sure you understand what you may qualify for. That is why the fine print matters so much.
Not every travel advisor is a destination wedding specialist.
Before anyone starts selecting resorts, negotiating room blocks or providing ongoing planning services, make sure you understand their experience and process. There should also be a signed agreement that clearly explains the services being provided.
Hire Someone Who Understands Both the Destination and the Wedding
Planning a wedding outside of the country comes with more fine print, resort policies and legal considerations than many couples realize.
A seasoned destination wedding travel advisor should be able to explain the difference between a symbolic wedding and a legal civil ceremony. They should also understand room block contracts, wedding package requirements, guest booking deadlines, transfers and the specific entry requirements for the destination.
You do not need someone who simply knows how to book a hotel room. You need someone who understands what can go wrong, what questions need to be asked and what details need to be confirmed before you sign.
Everyone Will Suddenly Have Something to Say
I am not going to sugarcoat this part. Once you announce that you are having a destination wedding, you may receive a lot of opinions.
Some people will tell you they are not coming if you get married outside of the country. Some may say you are being selfish. Others may immediately respond with, “Well, I guess I’m not going because I can’t take off work.”
Here is my honest opinion. Most destination weddings are planned at least one year in advance. That gives guests time to plan, request time off, save money and determine whether the trip is possible for them.
People will have different financial situations, family responsibilities and personal reasons for not attending. Those reasons can be completely valid. But you should not automatically change your entire wedding vision because someone reacts negatively before they have even looked at the details.
This is your wedding. If a destination wedding is what you and your future spouse truly want, do not allow every outside opinion to steer you in the opposite direction.
The people invited to your wedding are allowed to decline. You are also allowed to choose the wedding that feels right for you.
Both things can be true at the same time.
One Couple Realized It Was Not for Them
I have only had one couple decide that a destination wedding was not the right choice for them after initially planning to get married in Cabo.
Without sharing personal details, they realized that several of the people who were truly important to them would not be able to travel outside of the country.
That changed the experience they imagined. For them, having those specific people present mattered more than the destination itself.
Deciding not to move forward with a destination wedding was not a failure. It was the result of being honest about their priorities.
That is the entire point of asking these questions before you become emotionally and financially committed. The right wedding is not the one that looks best online. It is the one that feels right when you picture the people, the setting and the experience as a whole.
Ask Yourselves These Questions
You do not need to have every wedding detail figured out before talking to a destination wedding travel advisor. But you and your future spouse should have an honest conversation about what matters most.
- Does a tropical or international wedding genuinely match our vision?
- Are we comfortable allowing the resort wedding team to manage many of the planning details?
- Can we accept that some invited guests may not be able to attend?
- Are the people we consider essential realistically able to travel?
- Do we understand that guest travel costs are generally paid by the guests themselves?
- Have we discussed a realistic budget for both the wedding package and any custom upgrades?
- Are we choosing this because it feels like us, or because we think it is what we are supposed to want?
Choose What You Actually Want
My biggest piece of advice is simple. Make sure you are choosing what you want.
Your wedding does not need to follow anyone else’s expectations. It does not need to happen inside a ballroom just because that is what everyone in your family has always done. It also does not need to happen on a beach just because destination weddings look beautiful online.
Choose the experience that feels right for you and your future spouse. Be honest about your guest list, your budget, your personalities and how much control you are comfortable giving up.
When those pieces align, a destination wedding can become so much more than a ceremony. It can become one of the most memorable trips you will ever take with the people you love.
Your Destination Wedding Travel Bestie
Hi, I’m Melissa, the destination wedding travel advisor behind Destination Brides Club and Beyond the Wedding Travels.
After helping couples plan destination weddings over the past four years, I have learned that the best weddings are not always the most expensive or the most over the top. They are the weddings that actually feel like the couple.
When I am not matching couples with the right resort, you will probably find me hunting down the best fish or shrimp tacos I can find, ordering a fruity drink because life is too short for boring cocktails, attending a concert or creating a charcuterie board that is almost too pretty to eat.
I created Destination Brides Club to give couples the honest advice I wish everyone had before planning a destination wedding. No fluff, no unnecessary pressure and no pretending every resort is perfect for every couple.
Rapid Fire About Me
Fish or shrimp tacos
Anything fruity
Going to concerts
Making charcuterie boards
Live Aqua Cancun
Life is too short to stay at the wrong resort
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