The biggest difference between an adults only destination wedding and a family friendly destination wedding is simple: the guests who can attend.
Choosing between an adults only resort and a family friendly resort affects much more than whether children will be around the pool.
It changes which resorts are available, who can attend, whether your guests need childcare and what the entire atmosphere of the wedding trip will feel like.
An adults only wedding may give you access to more luxury, romantic and peaceful resort options. A family friendly wedding may make it much easier for the people you love to attend without worrying about leaving their children at home.
Neither choice is automatically better. The right choice depends on your family, your priorities, your guest list and what you want the wedding experience to feel like.
More Resort Options and a Different Atmosphere
One major benefit of choosing an adults only destination wedding is that your resort options expand to include properties that do not allow children.
These resorts can offer a quieter, more romantic or more elevated atmosphere. You may have fewer families crowding the pools, fewer children running through restaurants and no cannonballing right beside your poolside gazebo.
Adults only does not automatically mean boring, and it also does not automatically mean a wild party resort.
There are adults only resorts designed for nightlife, foam parties and a more social atmosphere. There are also beautiful luxury resorts focused on relaxation, great dining, romantic experiences and peaceful pools.
The goal is not simply to choose adults only. It is to choose the right type of adults only resort for your group.
“Choosing an adults only wedding does not make you selfish. Choosing a family friendly wedding does not mean you are sacrificing your vision.”Melissa’s Reality Check
Adults Only May Work When Children Are Not Central to the Guest List
Whether an adults only wedding makes sense often comes down to who is in your family and who you truly want present.
If your siblings are all over eighteen and there are not many young children in the family, choosing an adults only resort may be an easy decision.
The same rules that apply to a wedding at home still apply here. You are not required to invite children simply because they are part of a guest’s family.
However, destination weddings add another layer because guests are not attending for only a few hours. They are traveling away from home for several days.
You need to be comfortable with the possibility that guests with children may decline if they cannot find childcare or do not feel comfortable leaving their children behind.
Adults Only vs. Family Friendly
The easiest way to begin deciding is to look at the people you are inviting and the experience you want to create.
Adults Only Might Be Right If…
- Most of your guest list does not have young children.
- Your siblings, wedding party and closest family members are all over eighteen.
- You want a quieter, romantic or more luxury focused atmosphere.
- You have fallen in love with an adults only resort experience.
- You are comfortable with some guests declining because they cannot bring their children.
- Your wedding vision feels more like an adults getaway than a family vacation.
Family Friendly Might Be Right If…
- Your nieces, nephews or children are a major part of your life.
- You have younger siblings who would be unable to stay at an adults only property.
- Many of your guests have children.
- You want a multigenerational wedding celebration.
- Higher guest attendance is one of your biggest priorities.
- You want families to enjoy the wedding trip as a vacation together.
More Families May Be Able to Say Yes
A family friendly destination wedding may be the best fit when there are many children in the family and having them present is important to you.
You should also think about younger siblings. If you have a brother or sister under eighteen, choosing an adults only resort could mean they are unable to stay at the wedding property or attend certain events.
One major benefit of choosing family friendly is that you may receive better attendance from guests with children.
Those guests no longer have to arrange several days of childcare or deal with the nerves of traveling to another country while their children remain at home.
They can bring the children, enjoy the trip as a family and still be present for your wedding celebration.
What Happens When the Babysitter Is Also Invited?
I once worked with a couple who was completely set on having an adults only destination wedding.
They were putting their foot down. No children. Adults only. That was the exact atmosphere they wanted.
At the beginning, I had a rough guest count but had not seen the actual guest list. Once we looked more closely, we realized that many of the invited guests had families.
Several had already said they could not attend because they did not have childcare.
Here is the part couples often forget: the grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts and uncles who normally help with childcare may also be invited to the wedding.
Suddenly the people who would normally watch the children are getting on the plane too.
The couple ultimately had to pivot to a family friendly resort because they realized that many of their guests simply would not be able to attend otherwise.
Ask These Questions Before Choosing the Resort
Before becoming attached to an adults only or family friendly resort, look directly at the people you are planning to invite.
The resort decision should be based on your real guest list, not only the atmosphere you pictured.
A rough guest count is helpful, but understanding how many guests have children can completely change which resorts make sense.
Ask yourselves whether your guests would realistically travel without their children.
Would excluding children make the decision for several guests before they even see the room prices? Are most of the people on your list couples, or are you inviting mostly families?
You should also identify your nonnegotiable guests. If someone extremely important to you has young children and cannot attend without them, you need to decide whether an adults only resort is worth their possible absence.
There is no wrong answer, but there can be consequences you need to understand before committing.
Kids Clubs Can Give Everyone a Break
Many family friendly resorts offer kids clubs, supervised activities, babysitting services and entertainment designed specifically for younger guests.
This means the children can have fun doing their own activities while the adults enjoy the pool, attend a private event or spend time together.
Parents may be able to enjoy cocktail hour or other wedding festivities without needing to keep the children entertained every second of the trip.
Each resort has different age requirements, operating hours and babysitting policies, so those details should always be confirmed directly with the property.
Family friendly does not mean the adults cannot have adult time. It simply means the resort provides options for the entire family.
Yes, There May Be Kids Everywhere During Peak Season
One common misconception is that every family friendly resort will always be full of children running around and cannonballing into every pool.
Is that possible? Absolutely.
It becomes much more likely when you travel during school breaks, summer vacation, spring break, holiday weeks and other popular family travel periods.
If you choose a family friendly resort during a slower season, you may experience significantly fewer children and a more relaxed atmosphere.
The type of family resort also matters. Some are built around water parks, characters and nonstop children’s activities. Others are luxury resorts that simply allow children and offer a much calmer experience.
Choosing family friendly does not mean every resort will feel like the busiest day at a theme park. You still need to choose the right property and the right travel dates.
Neither Resort Type Fits One Stereotype
Family Friendly Means Chaos
Children will be everywhere, every pool will be loud and the wedding will lose its elevated feeling.
RealityThe season and the type of resort make a huge difference. Luxury family resorts can still feel beautiful and relaxed.
Adults Only Means a Frat Party
Every adults only resort is filled with foam parties, loud music and guests partying until sunrise.
RealitySome are party focused, but many adults only resorts are quiet, romantic, luxurious and designed for relaxation.
Children Ruin Weddings
Allowing children means the wedding cannot feel elegant, romantic or special.
RealityChildren change the atmosphere. Whether that is a positive or negative depends entirely on the couple and their priorities.
Some Resort Complexes Offer Both Options
If you are completely stuck between adults only and family friendly, there are resort complexes that may offer a version of both.
Some properties have a family friendly resort and a neighboring adults only resort. Dreams Playa Mujeres and Secrets Playa Mujeres are a great example.
Dreams Playa Mujeres
The family friendly side allows guests with children to stay together and participate in a multigenerational wedding trip.
Secrets Playa Mujeres
The neighboring adults only resort may give adult guests access to a quieter and more romantic experience.
There are some important caveats.
If children will attend the wedding, the ceremony and wedding festivities may need to take place on the family friendly side. Children generally cannot attend events hosted inside the adults only property.
If the wedding takes place on the adults only side, families may need to use the kids club, arrange babysitting or bring someone along who can care for the children during the wedding events.
Resort access policies vary, so you should never assume guests can freely move between both properties. Always confirm the current rules before signing a contract.
Do Not Choose the Resort Before Building a Rough Guest List
You do not need every RSVP before beginning the resort search, but you should understand who you are planning to invite.
Knowing whether your guest list includes ten children or zero children can completely change the resorts I recommend.
Start with the people who matter most, identify the guests who may need to bring children and then choose the resort type that supports the experience you want.
— MelissaChoose Based on the People and the Experience
An adults only destination wedding can give you a romantic, peaceful and elevated atmosphere with access to resort options that are not available to families.
A family friendly destination wedding can allow more of the people you love to attend without worrying about childcare or leaving their children behind.
Neither option is wrong.
Look at your guest list, think about your youngest siblings, nieces, nephews and the families you are inviting. Be honest about how much their attendance matters and whether they would realistically travel without their children.
The right resort is the one that fits your real wedding, not only the wedding atmosphere you pictured before looking at the guest list.
Your Destination Wedding Travel Bestie
Hi, I’m Melissa, the destination wedding travel advisor behind Destination Brides Club and Beyond the Wedding Travels.
After helping couples plan destination weddings over the past four years, I have learned that the right resort is not always the one the couple originally had in mind. Sometimes looking at the real guest list changes everything, and that is okay.
When I am not matching couples with the right resort, you will probably find me hunting down the best fish or shrimp tacos, ordering a fruity drink because life is too short for boring cocktails, going to a concert or creating a charcuterie board that is almost too pretty to eat.
I created Destination Brides Club to give couples honest advice about the decisions that actually affect their wedding experience, including the ones nobody thinks about until Grandma is invited and suddenly cannot babysit.
Rapid Fire About Me
Fish or shrimp tacos
Anything fruity
Going to concerts
Making charcuterie boards
Live Aqua Cancun
Life is too short to stay at the wrong resort
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